Why India doesn’t need a Superman.

Alright, Lois Lane! I humbly apologize for doing an Anu Malik on the title of your article in Superman Returns. I know it won’t fetch me a Pulitzer Prize but surely I can try for a Padmashri, eh??

So lets see, is Superman really going to be helpful in India??

First and foremost, he would be busy protecting his Lois Lane from crooks, thugs, eve-teasers, rapists, drunk colleagues, likes of Pramod Muthalik and Shiv Sena. With all the hectic work, where will he find the time to protect the common citizen?

Secondly, he would have to change his costume a bit to suit the Indian conditions. I mean have you seen that underwear over pants? He would be slapped with charges of obscenity! And what about a mask?? Yes, a mask!! Assuming that he can fly all over the place and a crime can be committed anywhere, what if he has to fly over Dharavi or for that matter, a Municipal waste dumping ground. Surely he can breathe out cold air but can he breathe in those toxic gases?? And with the amount of pollution in our cities, surely he can’t do without it. Another change would be letting go of his garb. What if it gets entangled in so many electric wires all over the city and Superman gets electrocuted!! Hmm, would make quite a lot of headline.. (I can already imagine BREAKING NEWS flashing all over the news channels)

Next, how will he fly?? I mean as it is with the amount of air traffic congestion we have in this country due to lack of ATC controllers, who will supervise his flying and landing??

And most importantly, which caste will be support? I mean he surely can’t be without a caste. It must be acceptable in his planet Krypton or for that matter in US. But no sir, not in India!

What do we need right now? Some rain!!

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