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Deception Point.

March 31, 2009

The best creative job in the world?

Advertising?… No

Painting?…. No

Music?…. No

Its the job of a Conspiracy theorist!!!

I pity those poor advertising agencies, painters, and sometimes even musicians (barring some) for the mind slogging and weirdness they have to do to come up with great ideas. The problem is, they have to build completely new themes based on pure intuition.

Now look at a conspiracy theorist. Grab the most sensational news and well.. sensationalize it more!! All they have to do is to identify a missing piece in the puzzle, import that piece (no.. not from China) and lo behold, a conspiracy theory is ready to rock and roll!

Some traits of conspiracy theories:

  1. They always come from reliable sources of an unreliable source.
  2. They involve the citizens of not only earth but entire solar system like aliens, martians etc.
  3. They always end up being made into documentaries.
  4. Their number is directly proportional to the size of the issue.Conspiracy

Some ludicrous theories (in order of stupidity) –

  1. US 9/11 conspiracy theory – The US government carried out those attacks in disguise.
  2. Barack Obama deception – Democrats started the economic crisis to help elect Obama ( ❓ ).
  3. Apollo Moon Landing Hoax – Apollo 11 never landed on the moon but the whole scene was staged in a NASA room.
  4. Mumbai 26/11 terror attacks – The Hindu extremists are responsible for the attacks to denigrate Muslim citizens.

Now, the obvious question that arises is why do they exist at all?

Well.. some less weirder ones really turn out to be true thus giving the benefit of doubt to the issue. But it is this benefit of doubt that turns out to be the most potent weapon for the politicians to twist and turn the issue ruthlessly against their opponents; and it goes on without saying that politicians turn out to be the best conspiracy theorists.

The upcoming news channels aren’t complaining!!

Pledge and Hedge

March 15, 2009

pledge-button

Pledge is the word that gives me jitters. Way back in school, I remember a pledge we used to take : “All Indians are my Brothers and Sisters 😯“. Yeah, we were stupid enough to take the pledge. And more importantly, our Principal was stupid enough to make us take that pledge (Yes, he was married).

Now I think, maybe the reason wasn’t some population control measure. I guess, back then, there weren’t any fancy pledges around to really attract any attention. Hence, we were stuck with the only pledge that our Government gave us – even if that meant making every girl our sister!!

Come home now, and pledges seem to have become a phenomenon. Atleast thats what everyone seems to be doing.

Thrown out of job? Take a pledge to fight against unemployment.

Saw a dog being chased away? Take a pledge to fight for animal rights.

Saw a criminal being killed? Take a pledge to fight for human rights.

Been cheated by a hooker? Take a pledge to fight against prostitution.

Ahh.. Now you are done and you can go off to sleep peacefully.

(Recently, after the Mumbai terror attacks, a publishing house started their pledge ceremony against terrorism with much fanfare garnering more than 100,000 pledges. The result?? Last checked, it seems to have disappeared from the main page and only came across it after searching for it specifically. And don’t ask me what happened of the people. Some are taking a new pledge to vote :-P)

A Lost Bid

March 10, 2009

March 6th 2009 – A date when Indians successfully lost a bid for everything that Gandhi represented.

No, I’m not misinformed. Rather, most of the people are who were in support for acquisition of those Gandhi memorabilia. We Indians (or rather Vijay Mallya) won those items for everything which they did not represent.

They were GANDHI’s items. A man bigger than his glasses and watch and blah blah.. A person whose ideologies were infinitely more precious than those items worth. And yet none of us see it. Instead, we prefer being patriotic and showing the world our financial muscle indicative of how well we are doing. It does not matter whether we deserve them or not. It does not matter what purpose would the money obtained from the auction would have served.

We should ask ourselves the hard question. Do we really deserve anything remotely associated with Gandhi?

More than 50 years after independence, we are far from achieving harmony. Non-violence seems to have been sent for a stroll in the park. Rather than demonstrating peacefully, unless some buses, houses are burnt, some people shot or burnt,  no agitation is successful.

Also Gandhi would have been the first person in this world to part with his items if it would have fetched adequate money for the poor. But with 1/3rd of poor in India, we can happily pay for such items rather than help eradicating the poverty. And why should we? We love to flaunt our poverty. It brings recognition in terms of Bookers and Oscars.

Plus, we are for some reason clouded with the mindset that anything having to do with anything remotely Indian should rightly belong to us and our museums. Only one more thing would be added along with those items – GANDHISM.

Incredible India

February 19, 2009

What can I say? The pictures speak for themselves!!

PS: Check out Mayawati’s poster(Vote for BSP).. Creativity??

(Source: Economic Times Of India – 17th Feb, 2009)
spcpim

bsp congress

bjp cpi

A Tale Of 2 Olympians

February 13, 2009

THE OLYMPIAN WHO TURNED A NATION DOWN

Michael Phelps and Mr. Bong

Yeah, its Michael 8 Olympic Gold Phelps. And no.. he’s not puking. Neither is that golden coloured liquid liquor (Though im sure he wished it was!). I know… its too evident to be mistaken.

And herein lies the disgraceful tale of this Olympian.

Hero.Superhero.Fast.Fastest.

Some of the qualities you might associate with him. But all these apparently were being smoked out.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment” – Michael Phelps.

Bad judgement? Dude, you’re an Olympian! The greatest Olympian ever! Had this been possible at all without good judgement? Whenever a kid would step into the pool, he would dream of you. Not only that – whenever a girl would reach adolescence, she would dream of you (seriously). And this is not the first incident. Ok.. he was 19 then (and probably more responsible than most of us), but then as Spiderman said… WITH GREAT POWER, COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY!

The only bright side? Atleast a slumping industry (marijuana) will get a boost. They got their best ever mascot in Phelps 😉

(The irony – Authorities recently arrested eight people for marijuana possession, in connection with an investigation into the photo of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps holding a bong, ABC News has learned.- One for each medal eh??)

THE OLYMPIAN TURNED DOWN BY A NATION

vijsush

The second Olympian is Vijender Kumar (Bronze medalist – Boxing )

The second Olympian is Sushil Kumar (Bronze medalist – Wrestling)

Two different names. One single fate.

A fate that is deprived of an honour from own country. A fate where achievements go unnoticed. A fate which fades in front of cricket.

And that is the tragic tale of the other Olympian.

On 26th January, when India celebrated its 59th year of constitution by awarding people with Padma Shri (in recognition to achievements in various fields), these 2 Olympians, who brought India her maiden Olympic medal for boxing and 2nd medal in wrestling were unceremoniously left out.

Apathy towards other sports by Indian Government or a well-reasoned decision??

According to Sports Minister MS Gill: “Normally the Padma Shri is given on the basis of a career of excellence and to expect it so soon would be naive on their (Sushil and Vijender) part. ”

(The irony- Hashmat Ullah Khan of Jammu & Kashmir, who is an exporter of shawls, was awarded the prestigious Padma Shri award. Hashmat Ullah Khan was given the award in “craftsmen” category. He is neither an artist nor a craftsman. It is not known who recommended his name to the Padma Award panel.)

The Travesty of Adversity.

February 9, 2009

Its past midnight and having gone through a marathon session of reading in which I finished 3 business magazines, feeling rather tired. All that I can remember from all that I read is well…  the world is really in RECESSION! 😀

Seriously.

Have been going through an article forecasting India’s GDP to drop from 8.1% to 6.2%, only to be contradicted by another article stating that the GDP will actually be 6.0% and again to be followed by an article consisting of an interview with an “economist” predicting the GDP to drop to “A healthy 5.8%”.

What the ****?

All that the magazines painted were gloomy pictures of world’s economy with colors of insecurities and unemployment thrown in here and there . There were heightened speculations that the editor and the correspondents might lose their jobs, their magazine might be out of circulation in the coming months, the advertisers would be too broke to advertise with them but almost everyone across the board agreed that, come later in the year and consumers like me would be too frigid broke to even buy the magazine that we are reading right now!!

Ah.. talk about pleasure from adversity :-x.

Agitated, I decided to look at other options – switched over to a Woman’s Magazine (complimentary with other business magazine – yes, money and women go hand in hand) proclaiming to make a difference and with a cover-photo of an elegant woman dressed in formals and no-nonsense look.

Honestly, the reason I picked up the mag was to get updated on some spicy gossip women like to have about men (which each man thinks is nonsense but trust me, he doesn’t leave any opportunity to read them). But having seen the cover photo and a quick scan of the contents and boy… am I intimidated?

No tips to impress guys? No surveys on men’s preferences?

A quick brush through all the pages and any sign of hope diminishes until I reach the last page and… Voila!! 2-3 articles on men and a picture of young Indian movie director-cum-actor (Farhan Akhtar) declaring him to be the most eligible bachelor in town has my faith reinstated in women magazines.

After all, in times of adversity, men do look for support from women isn’t it?? 😎

A Day for every Occasion.

January 29, 2009

Some interesting stuff that I came across the net for which one needs to give full points to the creativity of Americans. Yes, they have actually managed to name each and every freaking day in a year! Not even spared February 29th!

But this is Blasphemy! This is Madness!

Madness..? THIS IS SPAAA.. OOPS! AMERICAAAAAA!!!

(Presenting to you the weirdest days from all the 365 ones. Believe me, it was a difficult task in itself)

Jan 1    –> Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day

Jan 22 –> National Answer Your Cat’s Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day

Feb 23 –> International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

Mar 20 –> Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day

Apr 24 –> National Pigs In A Blanket Day

May 30 –>My Bucket’s Got A Hole In It Day

Jun 8   –>Name Your Poison Day

Jul 14 –> National Nude Day

Jul 27 –> Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

Aud 6 –> Wiggle Your Toes Day

Sep 2 –> National Beheading Day (?????????)

Sep 28 –> Ask A Stupid Question Day

Oct 12 –> International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day

Oct 14 –> Be Bald And Free Day

Nov 4 –> Waiting For The Barbarians Day

Nov 19 –> Have A Bad Day Day

Nov 24 –>  Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

Dec 8 –> Take It In The Ear Day

Dec 30 –> Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day

(Ref: http://library.thinkquest.org/2886/)